he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
