dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
