Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
