Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
