i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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