people are starting to question the shark bite story
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
