Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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