I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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