its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
