You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
