mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
