My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
