Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
