It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
