Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
