I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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