I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
