Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
