All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
