what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
