I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Randomize
