i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
