I cockslap morals
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
