He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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