Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
