I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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