Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
