yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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