Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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