just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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