check it out our google latitudes are spooning
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
