The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
