i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
