I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
