she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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