Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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