did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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