All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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