finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
