Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
