Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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