one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you mean i was at the winter classic?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
