Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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