i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
