you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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