haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
