Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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