I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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