in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
