your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
