I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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